My therapist and I have talked about validation and how to handle it. While I think relying on other's opinions too much about self worth is not healthy, I realize after I transitioned I have been seeking more validation because I lacked confidence in my beauty and femininity.
I have recently been on several dates with a guy and he has told me I'm beautiful numerous times to which I reply "whatever what's wrong with you but my therapist says to say thank you." Today I realized that all the while I have been seeking the validation of my femininity and self worth, I deflect it when given to me as if I am not worthy of any praise or appreciation. But I am. I am worthy, I am beautiful, I am a woman and while I may be a trans woman, no one person can validate or deny my femininity and beauty except me.
It feels amazing to be told I'm beautiful and it's taken a long time to believe it. As the bird who has been too scared to fly, I use self validation of my beauty and femininity and spread my wings and take a chance that my family and friends will be the wind beneath my wings and help me soar high into the sky as the beautiful woman I am.
Jessica Ilene
